4 Ways To Motivate Your Children and Family
One of the best classes I have ever been a part of was on the topic of motivation. It really opened up a whole new world of thinking for me. As we dove into the different aspects of what makes people do the things they do I realized that one of the most important things a leader can do for their team is help motivate them.
Motivation is everything in life. Show me a person who is good at what they do in any aspect of life and I will show you a reason they are motivated to be great. Great family organizations are the same. As human beings the greatest gift we have and that we can give is our potential. Potential is unlocked with the key of motivation. Great parent leaders focus on real motivation with their family. One of the hardest things is to offer those around you real motivation and get out of the “because I said so” type of motivation. Here are just a few ways to help your parentship skills and motivate your family.
Cast The Vision
Where are we going? Great leaders are those can show people the bigger picture. They can show those they work for the reason they do what they do. As a family leader, this vision is your rally cry. This is what our family is working for and all the great reasons why we want to work toward this vision. Refer back to it often and make sure all know they are in it together. Show them how the role each individual plays in accomplishing this goal. As each member of the family sees how their actions are helping they are driven to help the family. We are all drawn to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. The vision we are able to cast shows the bigger mission and the roles we each play in taking the family there.
Communication
In order to show our families the vision we need to be able to communicate this mission to them. Communication is two-fold. The ability to express our thoughts and opinions to others. The second, and I would argue is more important is listening. Take the time to listen to your family and try and understand what makes them tick. In order to truly understand how you can help each person in your family take the time to listen to them. Ask them questions and listen. Don’t think about what you are going to say next but truly listen.
Talk with the other leaders in your family about your team. What do they see in that person and how can you help. Get insight on what your spouse sees in them. With your spouse make this a team effort. Communicate with them often about what you are trying to accomplish in your family with each individual of your family. I can’t tell you how many times I have felt like I was at the end of my rope but just a simple conversation with my wife was able to show me there is a lot more rope waiting. Communicate often and with purpose each and every day with each member of your family.
Think win/win
One of the books that greatly influenced my life was Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits book. One of the habits he talks about is to think win/win. In other words, think of a way that you and the person you are working with can both accomplish a victory. In terms of motivation, as you listen to the members of your family and learn their personal goals you can show them how the family vision can help them accomplish their own goals. As I trained in the corporate environment we often talked about WIIFM (Whats in it for me).
Show them that you are with them in helping them try to be the person they want to be and find the common traits or activities needed to win for both them personally and as part of the family unit. You will find that as you take the time to listen to them and really communicate this becomes much easier to find the win/win.
Build relationships
If leadership is about influence, then influence is about the relationships you have with those who follow. Some of the greatest leaders I have ever had that motivated me did not need to dangle a carrot in front of me to produce results. All they had to do was ask me to do something and I would be sure to get it done for them. They had earned my respect and love by the way they treated me and truly cared about me as a person. The greatest thing our family needs to be motivated is the thing we have the ability to give most freely and that is of ourselves. As we make them a priority and love them we build this relationship with time. When we truly love them and show them this love we show them through our actions that we are 100% bought into them. As they see that they know that whatever we ask of them is for their own good or the good of the family. When we truly love them we have no hidden agenda and we truly want what is best for them. When this happens we will walk through walls for our leaders.
I find myself many times trying to motivate in two ways. Authoritatively, where I pull out the “I am Dad” card and what I say goes. There are times where this is needed and we need to manage the situation but as we work on ourselves and our families we can stand more on real motivation. The motivation that produces greatness and sustained results. Practice motivation daily for yourself and your leadership. As Zig Ziglar said, “Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but is something you should do on a regular basis.”